What I Learned While Planning My Wedding
November 13, 2006
Let me start by saying, I had one kick a@# wedding! My husband and I blended cultures, music, food and almost 400 people. We set the bar culturally for a whole generation of our region’s inter-ethnic couples. It was the best of many worlds, and all the planning and attention to detail that went into it seemed to be appreciated, if not entirely understood.
I learned a lot during the planning process, both about myself and the people around me, but there are two realizations that have changed my outlook on life. The first is that, even though it’s scary, you have to give part of yourself in order to engage other people. Sharing such a personal milestone in your life with hundreds of people is not easy, especially if you are going “off the beaten path” with your event and going against what certain family members would prefer. But in order for a wedding to be meaninful, it has to be representative of the couple - otherwise it ends up being “just another wedding.” That was the LAST thing I wanted, so I mustered up the courage to stand up for myself and plan the wedding I wanted (with my fiance, of course!) and figured people could choose for themselves whether or not they would “roll with it” and enjoy themselves, or purse their lips in disapproval because it’s not what they would have done. In the end, we had a beautiful wedding that crossed cultural divides and was memorable and meaningful for us and our guests!
My second lesson was more about people, in general, and how insensitive they can be. Towards the end of the planning process, I could TOTALLY understand why perfectly normal women turn into bridezillas. It’s not because they’re bitchy by nature, it’s because there is an endless stream of people who want something from you and don’t respect your time. Even though everyone was well aware of the fact that I had 8,000 things to do, there were still constant demands for my attention from people who are otherwise totally independent. I quickly decided that suggesting people look on-line themselves, take a cab, or simply call someone else was perfectly appropriate. It was a crash course in setting boundaries.
I repeat, in the end, it was all worth it.
My husband and I are very happily married and are stronger individually and as a couple because of our wedding planning experience. I highly recommend bucking tradition, doing your own thing, and turning off your cell phone for your wedding!
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Comments»
Hurray! We finally have you back and as a married woman!
Welcome to the Married-But-Living-Life-To-The-Fullest Club!
It was truly an amazing wedding and not only the wedding, but the couple of days leading up to it what just purely incredible (which was nothing experienced anywhere!). Normally, in whatever great wedding, you end up only bonding with those who you “happened to sit next to or meet” or “saw at the bar” which sometimes does not leave enough time to feel all the important people in the bride’s and groom’s lives.
Anyway, I will save more for later but well written… I still feel so honored to be part of such a wonderful event in both of your lives. I can just picture both of you in that lovely apartment!!!