My Pseudo-American Life
March 9, 2006
For me, this year 2006 represents a new beginning in my life. At 31, this may sound a bit strange, but I feel as though I’m finally ready to fully live an adult life in the United States. It’s not like I’m having a child or building a company. I’m just about to receive my permanent residency (Green Card) but the road up ‘til now had been one of the bumpiest ride I’ve ever had. And mind you, my life has never been easy or boring. It was quite eventful due to my unique circumstances, but even with these previous experiences, I was definitely not ready for this one.
After my husband and I moved from our comfort zones in Japan to Miami, I literally plunged from heaven to hell. It was so surreal and couldn’t believe it was happening to me! As if it was a really, I mean, really bad dream. I went from having everything I could possibly wish for - a career, friends and family, and a supercool lifestyle - to having, well, almost close to nothing. The only one thing that remained was my husband, and our relationship, which went a bit into turmoil. This was our first real challenge in our marriage so far.
The adjustment from one country to another was far more difficult than what I had anticipated. I went to high school and college here, so I never really thought I would have to relearn things or expect anything new. I sincerely thought the adjustment would be a piece of cake, but I couldn’t have been more wrong! Come to think of it, I was in total and absolute culture shock!
Every Christmas, my husband and I would come to Miami every Christmas to visit his family and friends. After doing so for 4 years, I felt comfortable enough to feel as though I knew the city pretty well. But unlike New York City or San Francisco, where the transition from a Japanese urban city could easily be done, Miami is a typical American city with a major car culture. Well, maybe not SO typical because of its Latin-culture and bilingualism, but either way, moving to Miami was the start of my pseudo-American life.
I won’t get into why it’s taking so long to process my Green Card, but let’s just say that after 9/11, things got extremely strict. We didn’t realize that a lawyer was a prerequisite and wasted about one and half years trying on our own, but nevertheless, we were all surprised how difficult this process has become. And the fun didn’t end here! Along with the strict INS rules, Social Security and Driver’s license regulations changed as well. Hence, with no work permit and no social security, there was no way for me to get a driver’s license, at least, in the State of Florida. So for the past two years, not only was I not able to work, I couldn’t even get around!!! And for those who know Miami, it’s a very tough place to live a normal life if you don’t have a car. So, you can imagine how the dependency problem became a real issue to me.
Technorati Tags: green card, japan, life lessons, america, immigration, marriage
But all in all, now that the end is really close, I realize one very important lesson. No matter how hard you work at it, there are times in life where you have no control over the situation. You just have to adjust and be patient. If I had known this going into it, maybe I would have done things differently. Started a new hobby or enjoyed the free time I had. But I definitely owe it to my husband, who patiently dealt with me and guided me through the toughest times. And hopefully, I’m a bit wiser to welcome all the “fun” challenge that awaits us up ahead!
Comments»
Brave new American, Welcome. Good luck to you and your husband. I cannot imagine your struggle and thanks to your well written story I needn’t imagine much. I am the 9th generation of my family in this country and am grateful for the efforts of my forefamily and have been able to take for granted all the wonderful comforts of knowing where I belong. I belong to this country and it belongs to me. And, now it belongs to you too. I know the stories of all of my people and the stories of why they left their respective countries and I hold them very dear. Never forget your story. Why you came here, what you left, what you cherished there and what you cherish here. They are so important to the generations that you bear here, if you so choose. It may sound silly to you now (or maybe you already have a sense of this) but the details will matter. I love my family’s story and so do my chldren. My mother was proud to tell me and her mother to tell her. From the Scots and the Irish to the French that all braved the journey, I know each of their stories, the weddings, the deaths, even some of the ferry receipts and contracts for the first farms they bought. You write so beautifully; You’ll have no trouble journaling your thoughts, keeping photos of your naturalization, and saving your cab receipts to the court house. Congratulations pioneer. My family is glad that you are here (though you have scared us from EVER going to Miami
What a place that must be!?!
Thank you Heather for your beautiful comment and sharing your experience with us! With my husband being Cuban-American and I, a mixed-cultured-Japanese (lol), we’ve constantly talked about our determination to keep our cultures, our experiences, and both our family histories and stories to live on. But hearing from your perspective has really made me realize how important and wonderful it is to be able to share that knowledge of where we come from and who we are with our future generations. And I hope that they will remember as vividly as you do
Thank you again for your warm, kind words. But please DO visit Miami if you ever have a chance, because it is truly the “melting pot” and what US absolutely represents. Also, you can’t miss the beautiful city, weather, and the ocean! A true paradise (w/ a driver’s license!)